In Shakespeare’s most famous play – Romeo and Juliet, the society in Verona is clearly painted, especially the expectations for values and roles in both men and women. However, the main characters, Romeo and Juliet, challenged these ideas and acted in the opposite gender roles. By understanding my identity and studying Shakespeare’s plays, especially Romeo and Juliet, I have a more deep and insightful understanding of the gender roles and expectations in the society of Verona at that time and Shakespeare’s decision for the characters to reverse the gender roles and gender standards set their love together in a special way which later leads to their tragedy. This understanding also helps me reflect my thoughts on gender roles and expectations that happened not only in the old times but there are also gender standards and expectations in the modern time that we are living which means that gender roles and expectations happened anywhere, in any cultures, and any generations. However, men and women nowadays are also going against gender expectations like how the characters Romeo and Juliet opposed and reversed their gender roles in Shakespeare’s play.
Men in Verona society at that time had more power than women. In contrast, women were controlled by men and were supposed to obey their men. Men in Romeo and Juliet had a pressure of masculinity because to be a man is to push and to thrust: “Tis true, and therefore women, being the weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall; therefore I will push Montague’s men from the wall, and thrust his maids to the wall” (1.1.15-18). Furthermore, in act 1, scene 1, there is sexist discrimination when two Capulet servants, Sampson and Gregory, had a conversation about the Montagues in which they also wanted to rape or kill the Montagues’ women because he and his friend believed that women are “weaker vessels” than men so Sampson believed that there was not a big deal in exploiting their weakness, instead they thought it was fun to do that and showed off their masculinity by seeing women as objects. Sampson showed off these comments because he thought he would make an impression and improved his esteem and masculinity with Gregory; this indicates that men in Romeo and Juliet gained social prestige when they show off power over women and other men.
While other fellow men showed some bad masculine attitudes and behaviors, then Romeo, in contrast, challenged his society’s standards for men and is portrayed with more feminine and sensitive traits for lacking the will to fight, saying flowery words of love, and expressing his emotions. As a man, Romeo should have not expressed grief, especially over the death of his enemy. Besides, Romeo also put himself below his lover, Juliet, especially during the balcony scene: “O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art / As glorious to this night, being o’er my head, / As a winged messenger of heaven” (2.2.28-31). A man, especially a highly educated and born in a rich, powerful family like Romeo should have never dreamed of considering himself below a woman or even worship her.
About Juliet, in her time, ladies had no choice or right to choose who they would marry, but it was their parents who decided it. Typically, enforced marriages were based on who had the greatest wealth, possessions, and status. Her life was controlled by her parents, especially her father when the men in Verona society at that time were more powerful than women: “An you be mine, I’ll give you to my friend; And you be not, hang, beg, starve, die in the streets, For, by my soul, I’ll ne’er acknowledge thee” (3.5. 203-205). But Juliet proposed and got married in secret which went against the traditional female role and expectation in the society at her time: “If that thy bent of love be honorable, / Thy purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow” (2.2.150-151). Juliet was very brave and different from any other women in her time because to address the topic of marriage with a man she just met was not only unheard of for a woman in Juliet’s society but Juliet was also switching her role to Romeo’s role when the men should be the ones who propose and address the topic of marriage first, not women.
Just like the society in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, there are also gender roles and expectations in our times. Still, in our times, men should not be sensitive or portray any feminine traits, and women should not act too manly and strong like a man; if you do that, people will think that you are so gay or lesbian. And in some families, there are still some parents that want to set up a husband for their daughters. I have a female friend, she used to study civil engineering, a major that everyone would think is most suitable for men, not women. Her parents and her male friends also thought the same. They asked why she would choose a major that is not suitable for women and it’s not girly at all. Her parents wanted her to choose an easy major and just live a stable life because they will find her an educated and rich husband to take care of her, so they asked her just to study an easy major and should not think much about power in the workplace. My mom used to think the same about asking me to go meet her friends’ sons because my mom believed that these guys would be suitable for me as they are educated and born in a good family. I was luckier than my female friend because my mom just asked me about the guys but still respected my opinion, not making any pressure on my shoulder like my female friend about the enforced marriage. I also have another male friend, he is not gay, but sometimes he just acts kind of sensitive. He is not a very resourceful person and he’s afraid of roaches. So, when working on this reflection essay about Romeo and Juliet and giving out some examples of my friends and myself, I do question that, “Why do men should act like this? And why do women should act like that?”, etc. Like, “When is there a thing that women should not study civil engineering? Who said that civil engineering is only a man’s major? And if a man is afraid of roaches, so? Is it a big deal? When is there a thing that only women can cry and get afraid of roaches or bugs, but men cannot?”. I think these gender standards and expectations should not be applied to everyone because we can’t force everyone to always act like a real woman and a real man. In sum, I really sympathize with all the characters in Romeo and Juliet and their pressures of being a real man and woman. I admire Shakespeare’s decisions on reversing the gender roles and expectations of Romeo and Juliet because I also want all the characters and people to live a life that they are happy and proud of, a life that is not based on any standards or expectations.
By understanding my identity and Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, I learn that too much gender standards and expectations can lead to the oppression of the characters and their need for equality; and, gender roles and expectations happened not only in Romeo and Juliet’s time but there are also gender standards and expectations in the modern time that we are living which means that gender roles and expectations happened anywhere, in any cultures, and any generations. Romeo and Juliet’s gender reversal left a huge impact not only in the play itself but also in the audience’s heart and mind that more and more people nowadays are also going against gender expectations.
References
Appelbaum, R. (1997). “Standing to the Wall”: The Pressures of Masculinity in Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare Quarterly, 48(3), 251–272. https://doi-org.libproxy.unm.edu/10.2307/2871016
Buford, S. L. (n.d.). “The Weaker Vessels”: The Perpetuation of Traditional Gender Roles in the Patriarchal Society of Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet. Retrieved December 2, 2020, from https://www.tntech.edu/provost/pdf/ureca/JCI_2.1_Part_2-compressed.pdf
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